Diets & Kids
No matter how hard I try diet culture will always be weaseling it’s way into my kid’s heads. Up until recently my girls seemed to care less about their weight and food.
Last week my oldest made comments about not wanting to get fat. Having daughters, negative self imagine talk has always been a big no-no in our house. The word fat isn’t even spoke in my home because I feel like it is such a hurtful, disrespectful word. Even when I was at my heaviest I never vocalized out loud to anyone, let alone my kids, that I was unhappy with my body. I know a lot of people think you shouldn’t give your kids the impression that you ever need to change your body, that you should practice self love no matter what your size. And I do believe that and preach it. But I don’t think people are wrong or that they don’t have self love if they are wanting to lose fat or reduce risk factors for diabetes, heart disease and beyond. When I was at my heaviest, I didn’t love myself at that time and the added weight was not the reason it was just another symptom of all of it. If you are headed down a path of self destruction, you know it in your heart...It isn’t about needing to love your body, it’s about being around in the future for your family. So stopping the cycle was essential for ME.
My kids were not involved or needing to be informed in my change of eating habits. We have always ordered a lot of take out food so everyone is always able to get what they want. This is not a new phenomenon for our family, it is our normal. When I do cook at home we all eat the same things in varying degrees or sides, but again that isn’t much different than how we’ve always been. We all have different likes and dislikes. I’ve never made my kids eat a certain way or adapt to the things I like to eat. They have naturally began to try new things they see me eat and have realized they actually are really good. They both love eating salads with chicken and often choose that over burgers and fries and not because I ever told them they should do that.
We have plenty of whole foods available and also some of their favorite treats. I don’t label or call certain food good or bad. I love the macro counting lifestyle because my kids have always seen me eat pizza and they’ve also see me eat chicken/veggies. I think balance is good. Whenever I take them for ice cream, I also enjoy a treat. There is a time and place for everything. There are no foods that are off limits to them as long as it is within reason. They know first hand that eating a bag full of candy gives them a major stomach ache so I don’t even need to give them reminders about that, they know from experience. We have rules about no soda except for special occasions, this is how I grew up and we just don’t have the stuff they like in the house. The options are water or milk. Sweets and desserts are available, but not something they eat on the daily. I believe if their main meals are relatively nutritious and filling they aren’t looking for or wanting snacks or desserts. When they have snacks they always pour out a serving of an item into a bowl or on a plate instead of eating directly from a bag. This has nothing to do to with weighing their food. This is always something I’ve done since babies to minimize eating out of boredom from a bag that doesn’t end. These are habits we instilled from a young age so it it’s just a carry over. We aim to lead by example and they have naturally changed up some of the things they eat without ever having to be told or asked. I’m a big fan of promoting food as fuel. We feed our body with the right food so we can feel and perform at our best at school and at sports.
My kids have never once questioned why I use a food scale. I honestly don’t use it near as much as I used to because I’m more educated about serving sizes at this point. I go days without using it now. But they see me use it to make recipes and I’ve always explained that I use the scale instead of measuring cups to measure our ingredients. I tell clients if it bothers them to have kids see them weigh their food, do it and prep it when they aren’t around or asleep. Have pre-measured things in bags ready to go in pantry or fridge. Weighing food isn’t something you have to do, but it is more accurate if trying to meet goals. Same thing with food tracking, they have no idea that I track my food. I don’t stop in the middle of family time and say oh I need to track my food!! It’s something I do while I’m waiting in Starbucks drive thru or while I’m resting during workouts. Your kids don’t need to be involved or know about that if you don’t want. Some of my closest friends/family who are not on social media have no idea I track or count macros. It doesn’t need to be public info unless you want it to be.
Please keep in mind that the ultimate point is that you never are meant to stay in deficit forever. Your kids should not see you living a lifetime of restrictions. I would never promote that for anyone. Ideally it is short term deficit and moving into maintenance level of eating as soon as possible. When I first started all of this the goal was never to reach someone’s idea of a perfect body. My initial goal was to get to a normal BMI. Along the way I started to realize how much the gym helped my mental well being. It was finally something that helped more than any depression or anxiety med ever did. I then fell in love with being strong, muscle was built with weights and food not restriction.
The biggest compliment I’ve ever received came recently from my youngest daughter. My kids are not used to seeing me workout at home because I normally do it all in the gym. My daughter saw me do pull ups and she was floored. She said “How did you do that? You are so STRONG.” It was the first time that she actually realized that I could do something that many can’t do.